a classmate`s witness report

I think I wrote about yoga



It feels as if someone has pressed the flush in my body, soul and mind, out pour the toxins, the tears, the diareahs......

Apparently we store memories in our bodies, trauma manifests itself under the skin, muscles tie into knots, joints becomes rigid and close, we become inflexible and old. When undergoing intense yoga practice for a long period the body begins to unlock. We practice and practice, opening and stretching, reaching and bending, then suddenly its hay wire...............

The mind is on fire, I enter the room with exhaustion and gloom, I can not do it, not today, but I begin anyway. Patiently persevering into my physical exhaustion. The body responds to my working by recruiting the emotions, who begin to cry and why and why! I think I'll die, but instead I just try, to stay focused, I try for the locust. Lord give me strength, but instead he gives me tears, he raises all my fears, they pour out of me in torrents as I do my practice, in this room, in India I persevere. We go deeper, myself and I, I don't ask why, I am here, it's queer, my break through is near. And the Lord he laughs and brings me sparks, through my knees to my anus I feel the energy. I cry, my whole body is collapsed in Shashankasana and I am crying, in a ball on the floor, in this here yoga school. I persevere, no fear my dear, the break through is near. The gods cheer and give me a cup of tea, spiritually, as I gain ground in Vrksana. But again I am being broken in Uttkatasana. I cry. I cry and I cry.

My teacher is compassionate, the lying down mediation at the end is luxuriously expanded for my benefit. I find peace in between my gentle breaths, I feel light and during the closing prayer I am centered and beautiful.

I eat. I go home, on the way the belly begins to bubble, I am in for trouble. I get home and my insides turn outside as I explode on the toilette. I laugh, inner and outer cleansing hits me with full force, I am exhausted. I lie on my bed and sing to myself, I sing songs about my life, my strife my freedom. I feel young again, a child dancing around her room to the soundtrack of Lauren Hill.

Live life with skill.

I am studying hard this life of mine, it is taking time but I am learning. Things keep turning. I'm in a fire and burning, and then, after the grief I find the release. It is so sweet. What a relief!!


Rhiannon