life in a broader perspective, where everything and nothing is different, that's all

Drawing a conclusion out of a journey of nine months
There are easier tasks
Today is tuesday, it's a warm sunny day in the Netherlands, but also cloudy, and when the clouds come it is cold
That is today, or at least now
12.30 pm, tuesday 15th of june 2010
Tomorrow will be different, as well as the conclusion
How to possibly answer the question 'how was it?' when it was everything?
But the one thing, above all, that is remarkable is the broader perspective
That is an unchangeable change after this journey
The world is bigger than before
It's not only about my house anymore, my friends, my happiness, my agenda
There is more around
There is not only that which the eyes can see anymore, that what the heart craves for
The motivation for action isn't the own happiness anymore
Or better, it is
But the own happiness has broadened, spread, has permeated the surroundings, the people around, the nature around
How freeing it is not to see one self as the starting point of life, but life as the starting point of one self
Everything remains the same
The friends, the job, the doubts, the jealousy, the loves, the interests, the regrets, the exaltation, the uncertainty
But it's the importance that has shifted
From 'I' to 'not only I anymore'
The eyes still see the same things, the lips still form the same words
Disturbingly comforting how fast one can adapt and adapt again

But while the one eye is focused on the own life, the other one is looking at the world
And that is what going away does
It offers you the perspective of the world next to that of your own life
That is what going away does
It gives you space to breathe where before there were dark clouds of self-pity
That is what going away does
It gives the chance to come back to the home of which the evidence has been unveiled, at least for a little while
That is wat going away does
It teaches you to trust on more than your own limited ability to make decisions
It teaches you to let go in order to be better able to receive
It teaches you to breathe where there's fear
It teaches you to act where there's inertia
It teaches you to wait where there's impatience
It teaches you to stay still where there's restlessness

All of this I've read in a book before
But the insights a book can give you are only useful to that extent in which they are brought in contact with the proper, tangible, concrete experiences

That you should just do the things,
That is what I've learned

Now it's cloudy and windy again
and 15.30 pm
15th of june 2010