annapurna round - what comes down comes down

On 17 march at 3.30 am we wake up in Thorung Pedi in a guesthouse packed with trekkers and bikers who would do the same as us that day, go to the Thorung Pass at 5416 meters.
At 4.30 we and our torches are ready to climb up. And that will appear to be true : climb up.
Still dark, further ahead some lights of early trekkers, behind us some lights of later trekkers.
Only the breathing of others and the ticking of walking sticks we hear.
And also something hanging at my backpack that has chosen this day to make very irritating ticking noises.
All irritates me, my torch gives up, already during the first few steps up I wonder how I will manage today.
But I call myself back, think `now,now,now` and concentrate on every step I`m taking at the moment.
That`s better.
Slowly it`s getting light.
The trek goes on. Upwards. Of course. We`re not there yet. It`s hard. Breathing is difficult and asks energy. The cold asks for my breathing and the bladdder for my attention.
A teahouse, a well-deserved very expensive gingertea in the first sunshine.
The irritation fades away and gratitude for the warm sun through the window takes its place.
Ok, time to go on. We climb. In the snow.
Where is my breath? Nothing to do but to stop as many minutes as I`ve been walking.
Continuously. For hours.
And then, finally, I see Laura`s arms waving at me from the top.
The body finds the energy to run the last meters. And less euphoric as I thought I would be, I reach the highest point of this trek. Thorung Pass, 5416 meters.
That`s how it`s going already the whole trek : You`re so focused on walking, that the thought `when will we arrive` slowly fades away. And at the moment when it has disappeared completely, you arrive.
But anyway, we did arrive and of course we are happy and moved.
A picture of the special moment is made.
Now nothing can go wrong anymore,only going down.
That`s what you think...
The cold made us leave the top quite fast.
So we started to descend.
And there it was. Relentless. The hammer on my head. Nothing to do even if I had wanted to do something.
Every stap a smash of the hammer.
Every five minutes five minutes rest. This would take us hours before arriving down.
The heart began to hammer also now.
Getting altitude sickness in descending, never heard of it before...
Resting against a rock. Would this ever end or would I die? Apparently one becomes a little dramatic during altitude sickness.
The rock made me feel sleepy. Babu, our guide and friend, firmly grabbed my wrist.
His worry fed mine.
We had to continue. The cold would undercool us.
Because it was cold.
Babu took my backpack. Laura in front.
Step by step we went down.
Cold, ice, slipping, getting up, slipping, icecold hands, the hammer relentlessly in head and heart.
Something told me that a body is strong enough to keep on going rather than to die as long as it has the choice.
So, keep on going.
Slipping, getting up, hammer, cold.
The weather beclouded. No sense of time.
Only sense of putting one foot in front of the other.
Laura had given me diamox after the rest against the rock.
To reassure me completely Babu said loud enough to Laura that that`s not a good idea, that only paracetamol helps in such a case, that diamox only helps when taken regularly.
Totally reassured we continued the long way down.
Poor Laura. After such a hard way up, now such a long way down only because there`s a hammer in my body.
Stone by stone. Step by step.
Holding still no option. Dying neither.
Continuing the only option left.
Nausea was there too. Squeezed stomach.
Why were we doing this again?
For pleasure?
Indeed.
I started to burp. A good sign, the stomach started to relax. Felt like eating something. Chocolate. Laura and Babu were possibly more relieved than I was.
It`s getting better, no?
Better. A little bit.
The chocolate remained in the stomach. The legs remained weak.
Still stone by stone.
No house ahead.
Only concentrated on the next step.
All other action superfluous.
After some six hours we reach a little guesthouse. I ask for a bed and get that, order food because I`m hungry.
It goes in and stays in.
Relief and pleasure.
Conquered the descent.
As well as the fear of death.
The next time I will climb a mountain, it won`t be such a high one anymore in the first place, and second I will fully realize and know that there are expressions that are true.That what goes up also must come down and that het venijn in het staartje zit.
After the food we continue. Still one hour and a half to go. To Muktinath, a perfect village surrounded by perfect mountains. A pilgrimage for Hindu`s and Bouddhists.
Babu then finds us the perfect guesthouse which` hot shower I won`t quickly forget (the first one in five days), neither as the bed and the sleep in that bed.

My gratitude is big. Possibly even bigger than when I wouldn`t have become sick.

And that`s how you learn that joy is even more enjoyable after suffering.
A lesson that we learned on this trek every day.


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silence
mountain
5416 mtrs
Thorung Pass
breath
thank you


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